2004.12.13

In Paging Jennifer Beals Mr. Gruber says that an iPod without a display is just silly. (I’m paraphrasing here…) What he doesn’t know is the new iPod will be using a display that utilizies Spin technology.

That’s right, the new iPod will display information by being rapidly spun in the air by the earbud wires. I know it sounds ridiculous, because it is. Wait. that’s just the leaked story, the real story is that it will project the display onto a flat surface just like that atomic projection clock at your Mom’s house, where you can lie in bed at stare at the time slowly changing while being displayed on the ceiling. Wait. that’s just the leaked story, the real story is that there will not be a Firewire port, USB 1 or 2 port, or even some special new dock. The new iPod actually comes tuned to your brainwave patterns and will be controlled (only by the owner) using thoughts and brainwaves. It will respond to your mood, and what you are thinking. (“Hmmm, I’d like to listen to The Clash” or “That Dawn and Drew Show is funny!”) The fact that it can only be controlled by the owner’s brain will also lower the risk of theft. Oh, also, it won’t actually have a hard drive or flash memory, it will just use the audio stored inside of your brain, talk about DRM‘d music!

Now folks, I must have made hundreds… ok, dozens… well, at least a few posts on Apple’s iPod audio player, and even though I do not own one (yet) don’t you think I’m probably right this time?

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