I got invited to use the web site at goscoville.com, and while browsing the site trying to figure out what it was, and why I’d want to use it, I came across this illustration in the footer…

I’m still not convinced I want to use Scoville, but I was fascinated by the illustration, and thought I would offer a complete analysis of said illustration for your consideration.


The scene itself is surreal, and appears to take place on a floating city. We’re not really sure where the city is floating… In deep space? Above a planet? Is it MagLev® Technology? We don’t know…


What we do know, is that the city is under attack. We can clearly see a number of aliens descending upon the city in attack mode. Two of the creatures look like battle-hardened soldiers from the Space Invaders fleet, and the other looks like it may be related to the horrible beast most often found on the GitHub planet.


There also appears to be discharges from a number of energy weapons, possibly from larger battle cruisers orbiting this floating city. You can clearly see disruptions in the time/space continuum in this close-up.


Three of the individuals in the illustration are talking, or yelling, or perhaps telepathically communicating. Since we cannot see what they are saying, we will assume their communications are encrypted. I find it interesting that there are 3 attackers in the sky and 3 people on the ground engaged in communication. Are they somehow linked? Are they working together? I smell traitors!


We see two objects of interest in the illustration, a large orb-like structure in the center, and a small pyramid on the right. We can only assume that the orb-like structure is what powers this city, and perhaps, is also the valuable object being sought out by the attackers… the “MacGuffin” if you will.

Now, the pyramid is also of great interest. If my studies have taught me anything, it’s that pyramids are used as teleportation devices. This begs the question, will the beings of this city use the teleporter to leave and save themselves, or will the teleporter allow the transport of ground troops to fight the impending battle? Either way, the pyramid cannot be ignored!


On to the next question… Who is watching!? We see a number of cameras in the sky, as well as a communications transmitter atop one of the buildings. It’s clear that the event is being monitored by someone, and judging by the model of that transmitter, the signal is traveling quite a distance. Will help arrive in time? Are the enemies of this world watching and waiting to see it fall? Unknown.


I know that the people look helpless, but all hope is not lost! You can clearly see that the city has established itself as a leader in the BDN (Balloon Defense Network) that was so popular in the last century. While it’s true that 99.5% of the balloons in the Balloon Defense Network are destroyed within 5 minutes of launching, and a Balloon has never actually fire a shot in battle, there is still that 0.5% chance that this time something different will happen.


It’s been said that where there is music, there is life, and while we fear that life upon this floating city will come to a tragic end, the music goes on! You can see that music is being blasted into the sky, perhaps as a last testament to the bravery of these poor souls who will soon be destroyed as their city burns and their balloons burst. Sadly the song they are playing was rated with only one star in iTunes. Not good!


It’s also been that it’s always darkest before the storm, and that appears to be true in this case, and while this great city, and all of the wisdom contained within it are on the verge of total destruction, we see one final glimmer of a spark of a chance that something may step in and prevent the inevitable.

I mean, this city has not only a palm tree growing out of a building, but it also has a heart… and that my friends are two of the most powerful weapons in the universe.

(Note: palm tree and heart may not guard against alien invaders or proton weapons.)

3 Responses to “Analysis of Scoville illustration”

  1. Tom HenrichNo Gravatar says:

    If my studies have taught me anything, it’s that pyramids are used as teleportation devices.

    Clearly you’ve been mislead. Pyramids are really just landing sites for Ha’tak class Goa’uld motherships.

  2. Tom, I fear we exist on different planes of existence, hence your confusion about pyramids.

  3. Mr. GabeNo Gravatar says:

    I have to jump in here.
    I am quite sure that the Pyramids were built by the Osirians as power conduits for their technology.

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