RasterWeb: Rambles: evilbeverage

To understand me, you have to understand this...

I hate coffee.

See, you might not understand that statment.

I HATE COFFEE!!!

I don't just "dislike it", I don't just "not drink it" I despise it with every fiber of my being.

It makes me sick, physically and otherwise.

The cups, the makers, the sellers, the beans, the flavor, the grinders, the sound, the culture, the smell, the people. I hate it. hate it all.

I don't even like to use that word. So I'll often just say 'that evil beverage' or sometimes, 'liquified dog shit'

C.H.U. is the Coffee Haters United. C.H.U.M.P. stands for Coffee Haters United Must Prevail. You think I'm kidding? You're dead wrong.

I once asked someone "Know what fuels me?" and they replied lackadaisically "A good cup of coffee?" to Which I replied "NO!!!" and launched into a tirade about the evil beverage. (Note: At that particular time I was fueled by hate, angry youth and all that...) See, to me coffee represented the let's sit around discussing politics and the ills of society while really doing nothing about it. When you're trying hard to wreck society, that tends to get in the way of progress towards the cause. Just as drinking and drugs have done to so many.

I had a rule at the Mound House. No coffee in my room. I had a rule in the van. No coffee in the van. (Not as heavily enforced most likely, getting along with others in a shared space on tour and all that.) I've been known to smash coffee makers.

When Aaron Elliot said "Wanna go get some coffee?" I said, "No, I don't drink coffee, how about soda or food?" So we went to Dunkin Donuts. It was a compromise. I probably wouldn't do that for many people. I miss the old days (the 50's?) when kids hung out at the soda shop. Those were the days, no one trying to be all adult and everything, drinkin' latte cappuccinos and what not... Kool-Aid, now there's a beverage! I said the kids are at their best when fueled by Kool-Aid or soda, and Mike Stanioch gave me some grap about how he drank coffee as a kid and his grandpa drank Kool-Aid. Sorry, it's still all crap.

People sell out all the time, straight-edgers turn into drunks, protesters turn apathetic, grass-roots turns into big business, I've seen it all happen but I tell you this my friend (or enemy) I will not drink the coffee. I will not drink it from a mug, I will not drink it from a jug. I will not drink it, or even try, I will not, even after I die...

  Last Modified: 04.02.2001 by rasterboy