I’m sure you know by now that we will soon have no bananas. This is of course disturbing. As you know, in the future we had planned to make apes into servants, sure, some people will say they will be slaves, but really they will be servants. Now it was widely believed that our mistreatment of the servants/apes will lead them to uprise and revolt against us, eventually leading to what is commonly referred to as a Planet of the Apes, where apes will rule over man.

Leading scientists and computer programmers have always held that this is what will happen. Without a doubt.

But… it seems that the whole running out of bananas thing will prevent that. The servants thing I mean. Obviously the apes will uprise and revolt against us when we run out of bananas, and we’ll never even get to have apes as servants. No, your butler won’t be named ‘bubbles’ and bring you a bottle of water while swinging from the chandelier with his tail, instead you’ll be the one with the lobotomy bringing the ape-overloads oranges and carrots.

Honestly, carrots? Sure, imagine going to the zoo of the future and seeing a bunch of monkeys sitting around eating carrots. They won’t stand for it.

Mark my words… our days are numbered…

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