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This is the Pain (Part VI)

MRI Images

Since last time (and this) I figured it was time for an update.

I saw the pain management doctor (who gave me the injections) and he said I needed to have part of my spine widened since the injections did not work. The “spine hole widening” is a surgical procedure, so he suggested I see a surgeon. So I did.

The surgeon looked at my MRI and said “You’ve got a senovial cyst!” So yeah, there is a cyst on my spine pressing against the nerve that runs down my right leg, hence the terrible horrible pain in my right leg.

If you want to get technical I need a Laminotomy which is the opening of the space around the nerve, in this case by removing the cyst. (A Laminectomy on the other hand, is removal of part of the spine. Luckily a Laminotomy is a somewhat less invasive procedure.)

It seems plenty of (older) people get these cysts but never even know it because they do not cause any pain. Lucky me!

Other fun things from the diagnosis: “severe lumbar spinal canal stenosis” and “multilevel cervical spondylosis neural foraminal narrowing” and of course “degenerative disc disease” for good measure.

So the good news is I am scheduled for surgery. The bad news is I need to wait for three months after the injection, which would mean the first week of July. The other bad news is that due to my work schedule I can’t take off for the surgery until the last week of July. So as I am typing this it’s over 70 days until my surgery.

The surgery could get moved up if I start to lose control of my bladder and bowel, so that’s fun.

Otherwise I figure I’ve already gone over 120 days in pain, what’s another 70 or so. Are there days I wake up (in pain) and scream in agony? Yes. But hopefully we’ve got a solution to this nightmare.

Fingers Crossed and all that!

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The Lost Year of A Broken Man

spine pain

I awake
3am, 4am, maybe 5am
it’s not enough
the pain begins
will it be a few hours
or all day
I never know
time disappears
so many hours
in pain
lost time
a lost year

I take the pills
it was 1, then 2, the 3
four… five…
and it’s still not enough
to dull the pain
the pain
persists

so much I want to do
so much I cannot do
while the pain is in command

sometimes I feel alright
but it doesn’t last
the pain returns
each morning
or it creeps up
anytime
during the day
when unexpected
when unwanted

a broken man
waiting to be fixed
fighting against time
fighting against the pain
sadness visits
darkness lurks
but we keep going

what else can we do?

~

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Auto-Bookmark Posting

Linkding

It’s been a while since I posted about bookmarks. Remember del.icio.us? (or Delicious?) How about Ma.gnolia? Scuttle? Oh, Pinboard!

I quit using Pinboard in 2025. Not because it’s bad, in fact, it was quite good! But it seemed like it lost some of the “network effect” that it once had when all my pals used it. I think they also started asking for money, so instead of continuing to use it while not paying (or paying) I moved to a self-hosted solution, which I’ve wanted to do for a long time.

Linkding does pretty much all I need/wait it to do, and it runs on my own server!

Linkding also has an API, and since I’m always messing around with Python. Remember when I made some Mastodon bots?

Well, I had this idea. A new bot that would post one bookmark per day to a Mastodon account. Along the way I abandoned the ides of a new account and decided to just post them to my own account, each night around midnight.

Bookmarks on Mastodon

You can see them all with the bookmarks tag.

Back to the Python! I wrote a script that pulls the most recent 100 bookmarks from Linkding and sticks them in a SQLite database. The data from Linkding is a JSON feed, which I’ve never worked with before in Python, but it was fairly simple. I’m not sure if I’ve use SQLite with Python either, but I did that too!

There is a second script that posts to Mastodon. It’s similar to the bot scripts I wrote before, except (again) it works with SQLite. After it posts a bookmark it will set a flag so that we won’t post it again.

My code isn’t perfect, but it works. I didn’t use any AI or LLMs to create it, I read the docs and looked at examples. I probably won’t release it, but who knows?

Anyway, it was a fun project for me, sometimes someone will like or reply to one of my bookmark posts, and I get to see an old(er) bookmark I created. Win-Win all around!

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Firefox is out, LibreWolf is in!

I started using Firefox in 2004. I mean, I was probably using beta releases before it was officially released. I think it was called m/b even? Anyway, it’s been a long time…

I’ve also been a supporter of Mozilla for a long time. I am a Thunderbird user (also for over 20 years) so it’s safe to say… I’m a fan, but…

Mozilla has made a lot of mistakes in recent years, and while I’m not about to switch to Safari or Chrome (or Chromium) I have switched to LibreWolf.

What is LibreWolf?

LibreWolf is a custom and independent version of Firefox, with the primary goals of privacy, security and user freedom.

LibreWolf is designed to increase protection against tracking and fingerprinting techniques, while also including a few security improvements. This is achieved through our privacy and security oriented settings and patches. LibreWolf also aims to remove all the telemetry, data collection and annoyances, as well as disabling anti-freedom features like DRM.

And most importantly, there is no AI in LibreWolf. They strip it out. This is the reason I switch. A few months back when I got sick of repeatedly disabling AI stuff in Firefox (and before they said they would add a “disable” button).

I also looked at Waterfox, but I could not get Firefox Sync to work. Sync is probably one of the most important features for me, since I use it on 5 computers, an iPad, and an iPhone on a daily basis.

I’ve come across very few issues with my switch to LibreWolf. I did have to mess with some of the more strict security settings when I started using it, but since then it’s been like using Firefox without the spying / data gathering.

I still have Firefox installed, but don’t use it much. LibreWolf has been great, and I’m glad I made the switch. I can also easily switch back, or still use Firefox if I need to since it’s just another browser in Firefox Sync I can synchronize all my settings to.

For now though, I will stick with LibreWolf.

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Goodbye Google Search!

Google Search

Remember last year when I quit Google Mail and also quit Google Docs? Well, my efforts to DeGoogle didn’t end there…

I quit Google Search.

Yeah, Google Search… which I’ve been using for a quarter of a century. I even had a Google t-shirt back in… 1999 I think? No more.

DuckDuckGo

I switched to DuckDuckGo, which is a bit more focused on privacy and doesn’t use my search history for advertising purposes. I don’t even have an account to log into. You can still change some settings, which should persist across browser sessions thanks to cookies in your browser. (Though you then have to set them in each browser on each device you use. I think that’s a small price to pay.)

DuckDuckGo AI Settings

DuckDuckGo does have some AI features, but allows you to turn them off. Searching the web, not seeing any AI garbage, it feels like… like Google used to be, or like the web used to be. It’s pretty nice. Occasionally if I cannot find what I need I will open a private window and do a Google search, but it’s rare I need to do that.

SearXNG

While I’ve been happy with DuckDuckGo, I also try not to be complacent. I’ve installed SearXNG onto my home server which can also search the web.

SearXNG is a free internet metasearch engine which aggregates results from up to 251 search services. Users are neither tracked nor profiled. Additionally, SearXNG can be used over Tor for online anonymity.

So SearXNG goes out and does the searches using all sorts of search engines but protects your privacy by being a middle-agent. (There some public instances you can try, though they may be hit or miss, and localized results may be off.)

Mojeek Search

I’ve also had someone suggest I try Mojeek which claims to be “The alternative search engine that puts the people who use it first.” and unlike SearXNG does not rely on existing search engines but instead uses the Mojeek index of the web, so it is independent. (And, not into AI.)

I’ve left out a few options you could use instead of Google, but for those of use remember Ask Jeeves, Lycos, Alta Vista, Yahoo, and all the other search engines of 30 years ago, I think it’s our duty to find alternatives and try them out and see if we can move away from big tech, either by choosing self-hosted alternatives, more ethical companies, or way to subvert the existing system.