pain – RasterWeb!

Lie Down Flat On Your Back Desk

Because of the pain I’ve been in all year I started looking for solutions and someone on Mastodon mentioned this desk thing that lets you lie flat on your back and use a laptop. I order one pretty quickly. I should note that “pretty quickly” was probably a few days later because I am not one to make quick purchases, but I was in pain.

I just call it the “Lie Down Flat On Your Back Desk” but the actual name is Laptop Desk Designed For Lying Down Sitting Posture, Helping To Relax The Neck & Back, Various Positions: Sitting Lying On Bed, Sofa, Floor and it’s from GpshopCreations

Does it work? Yes, it has allowed me to use a computer while lying flat on my back on the floor with my legs elevated. So mission accomplished there.

As a product designer I had a few little complaints about it, very minor things not even worth mentioning, just things I would do differently. At the end of the day this is some wood, an elastic band, some knobs, and some threaded inserts. It’s the sort of thing I could make myself if I wasn’t flat on my back.

Here’s what it cost:

Item Total $333.00
Shop Discount -$166.50
Subtotal $166.50
Order Total $190.28

I thought $333 USD was a ridiculous price and I would have never paid that much. Luckily it’s really $166.50 USD. And again, being in pain I had no issue paying that amount. In total it was $190 USD and hey, it’s a business expense so I could actually work.

I left a review and gave it 4 stars (out of 5) and the shop owner messaged me asking me to change to 5 stars. I did not. The item arrived a few days later than the arrival window, and that’s after I got a message from the shop owner confusing my order with another, and as I mentioned there were a few minor issues I have. Very minor.

Looks, I run an Etsy shop and I wound never ask a customer to change their review. If I get negative feedback I would do what I could to work with the customer and make them happy.

Anyway, besides all the little issues the desk has been great. I give it 4 stars! Now there are plenty of alternatives out there, some fold in half, which might be nice. One other complaint I have about this desk is that it’s large and you need to store it somewhere. Again, there are other options, I just didn’t take the time to shop around because of the paaaaaiiiiinnnn….

I am in pain. It started in November. It seems to happen every year, at the end of the year. In the fourth quarter my body just breaks down, stops working, and hurts. A year ago it was my knee, two years ago it was my neck, and before that it was my foot. It hurts and I hate it.

I end up doing physical therapy, get x-rays, an MRI, medication, and I suffer. I suffer. I often have to stop my activities, pause doing the things I love. This year I had hit 1,400 miles on my bike. I had this goal of 1,000 miles in 2025, I hit it, and was hoping for 2,000 but with only two rides in December I ended the year at 1,955 miles. Still amazing but I wish I had hit 2,000.

I did manage to ride to work for 50 days, which was amazing… And the thing is, I was loving life. Fall was amazing. I was biking every day, getting outside, getting exercise, not driving a car. It all came to a halt when the pain got too bad. There are some periods now when I can barely even walk.

The thing about this pain I have now, which was originally diagnosed as sciatica, is that it’s become so unpredictable, and so painful. I guess the discs in my lower back and garbage, and it’s causing nerve pain, and it’s so, so bad. Some days I am in pain for a few hours, and some days it’s 10+ hours. When the pain is gone I am mostly fine, unless I sit in a desk chair for too long. I’ve been doing the “set a timer, sit and work for 20 minutes, then get up to stretch and move” routine for months now.

I’ve been to urgent care, where I was lying on the floor nearly crying before they saw me. And don’t worry, I’ve been crying at home when it’s been excruciating pain for more than an hour. Again it sucks… it sucks so much.

One thing I didn’t realize about the pain in my body is the pain it would cause my head. I am on medication that can cause dizziness and drowsiness, but also the pain just clouds your mind. It’s difficult to think clearly or focus when part of your body is in such pain. I’ve been missing work, falling behind on projects and tasks around the house, and just… trying to take it easy and heal, because really, I have no other choice. The “take it easy” part is not easy for me… and the healing is not here yet.

I also totally get how someone could get addicted to pain killers. If you gave me drugs that made the pain go away I would want them every time I was in pain. And I’m in pain a lot. That said I am following all guidelines for the medication I am taking because I know that’s the right thing to do. Meanwhile I’ve been using/trying heating pads, massagers, a TENS unit, lidocaine patches, an acupressure mat, and absolutely anything else non-drug I can think of… Some of it seems to help, but it’s just temporary relief.

I’m scheduled to see a doctor soon, and weeks out from an MRI unless we can speed that up. But I gotta say, life is rarely enjoyable these days.

Part of this is getting old I guess. It’s a reminder that disability will come for us all eventually. And it’s also depressing. It’s difficult to not feel hopeless, that you’ll ever be okay and feel good again. In previous years it was bad, but it felt temporary. Right now I am at the point where I am worried it will never get better, but I have to reject that diagnosis and remain hopeful, but damn… it’s hard to do.