Tag: pain

Just a quick update since the last post…

Hey, funny story. And by “funny” I mean tragic. I got through a consultation (in great pain, since I was off my medication) and got an actual appointment to get an injection. Actually, two injections. They said that they would need to go in through both sides instead of through the back.

So I was in the hospital, and Nurse Tara was prepping me for the procedure, going through all sorts of questions and then at the end of the questions Dana mentioned my finger.

I noticed the previous night that my right index finger was a bit swollen and reddish. Guess what… I had an infection!

Nurse Tara said “Okay, hold on” and left. Another nurse came in, took a look at my finger, then left. And then the doctor came in, took a look, and told me we needed to reschedule.

Fuuuuuuuu…

Yeah, so we canceled the procedure to be on the safe side, as doing a procedure while I potentially has a blood infection was a bad idea. They told me to go to urgent care and get some antibiotics and come back in two weeks.

I’ve been in pain for two months, so I figured two more weeks would be, well… not okay, but whatever. I had no choice.

I’ve been on antibiotics a few days now, finger is looking good, and hopefully within two weeks we’ll have anther update.

Update: The “two weeks” is now three weeks due to rescheduling. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this point.

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I really planned to have an update since the last post, but it’s been difficult. The first update is that I’m getting used to it, to some degree. The pain, that is…

I typically wake up between 3:30am and 5:30am and I’m just in pain (to various and differing degrees) for anywhere from 5 or 6 hours on a good day, to 12+ hours for a very bad day. And the medication can cause dizziness and drowsiness and sometimes I just cannot focus. Ugh.

Oh! A lot has happened since the last post. I saw a doctor, got an injection in my hip (that did not work and offered no relief) and then I got an increase in my medication, and then I got an MRI and then another increase in my medication (sigh) and sometimes I have to take out-of-state medication.

On a strange/happy(?) side note I have not had an alcoholic drink since mid-December since I’ve been on so much medication since then.

I’m still limiting my work and activities, though on the days when it’s fewer than 6 hours of pain I try to spend the whole afternoon at work, or doing things I can do. There are days that by 2 or 3pm I feel totally fine.

So what’s next? Well, I got an EMG (electromyography) and the good news is my nerves are not damaged. So I saw another doctor this week and we’re going to move forward with getting me two injections into each side of my spine because they can’t do just one from the back due to the spacing. (Eww.)

So we’ve got at least another week and a half before any potential relief. If the injections do not work we’ll need to move forward and try something else. I really hope it’s not more medication because I am getting so sick of them.

Anyway, here’s hoping for the best!

I am in pain. It started in November. It seems to happen every year, at the end of the year. In the fourth quarter my body just breaks down, stops working, and hurts. A year ago it was my knee, two years ago it was my neck, and before that it was my foot. It hurts and I hate it.

I end up doing physical therapy, get x-rays, an MRI, medication, and I suffer. I suffer. I often have to stop my activities, pause doing the things I love. This year I had hit 1,400 miles on my bike. I had this goal of 1,000 miles in 2025, I hit it, and was hoping for 2,000 but with only two rides in December I ended the year at 1,955 miles. Still amazing but I wish I had hit 2,000.

I did manage to ride to work for 50 days, which was amazing… And the thing is, I was loving life. Fall was amazing. I was biking every day, getting outside, getting exercise, not driving a car. It all came to a halt when the pain got too bad. There are some periods now when I can barely even walk.

The thing about this pain I have now, which was originally diagnosed as sciatica, is that it’s become so unpredictable, and so painful. I guess the discs in my lower back and garbage, and it’s causing nerve pain, and it’s so, so bad. Some days I am in pain for a few hours, and some days it’s 10+ hours. When the pain is gone I am mostly fine, unless I sit in a desk chair for too long. I’ve been doing the “set a timer, sit and work for 20 minutes, then get up to stretch and move” routine for months now.

I’ve been to urgent care, where I was lying on the floor nearly crying before they saw me. And don’t worry, I’ve been crying at home when it’s been excruciating pain for more than an hour. Again it sucks… it sucks so much.

One thing I didn’t realize about the pain in my body is the pain it would cause my head. I am on medication that can cause dizziness and drowsiness, but also the pain just clouds your mind. It’s difficult to think clearly or focus when part of your body is in such pain. I’ve been missing work, falling behind on projects and tasks around the house, and just… trying to take it easy and heal, because really, I have no other choice. The “take it easy” part is not easy for me… and the healing is not here yet.

I also totally get how someone could get addicted to pain killers. If you gave me drugs that made the pain go away I would want them every time I was in pain. And I’m in pain a lot. That said I am following all guidelines for the medication I am taking because I know that’s the right thing to do. Meanwhile I’ve been using/trying heating pads, massagers, a TENS unit, lidocaine patches, an acupressure mat, and absolutely anything else non-drug I can think of… Some of it seems to help, but it’s just temporary relief.

I’m scheduled to see a doctor soon, and weeks out from an MRI unless we can speed that up. But I gotta say, life is rarely enjoyable these days.

Part of this is getting old I guess. It’s a reminder that disability will come for us all eventually. And it’s also depressing. It’s difficult to not feel hopeless, that you’ll ever be okay and feel good again. In previous years it was bad, but it felt temporary. Right now I am at the point where I am worried it will never get better, but I have to reject that diagnosis and remain hopeful, but damn… it’s hard to do.