Tag: life

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The Book of Pete

There’s a very good chance I’m going to die. Hopefully not soon, but you never know. At the end of every calendar year my body breaks down, it gives up. Usually I end up doing physical therapy, some doctor visits, and either end up in the emergency room or urgent care, and each time I learn about a new way my body is failing me.

The recent death of Rob Reiner is just another reminder that when you die, people look to your work and the kind of person you were, and hopefully they think fondly of you and what you brought into the world. So many have spoken so kindly about Reiner. My introduction to his work was Spinal Tap. I’m pretty sure it was my friend Milt who showed up with a VHS copy of it and said “Dude, we gotta watch this!” and it was glorious. We even went to see Spinal Tap when they came to play in Milwaukee.

But, back to me and my failing body… When my cat Tink passed away in 2021, it hit me hard. She played a huge role in getting me through 2020 when I faced a pandemic, job loss, job change, another job change, and going through therapy. That cat remained a constant loving companion to me, and writing and reading about her comforted me greatly. You can see what I wrote in The Tinkerbell Pamphlet. I’ve advised others to write about their pets after they’ve passed away, and I hope it helped.

Besides the cats, I have a loving partner, and other family members I will leave behind. There’s a chance some of them do not know me as much as they would like to (or have liked to) because in many ways I am a closed person. Sure, I’ve been publishing since the 1980s but like any good publisher I don’t share everything. I also do a lot of weird things my family and (many) friends don’t really understand. (And that’s okay!)

While “blogging” at it’s start was very much about sharing your opinion about things on the (new) World Wide Web, I have an archive that starts in 1997 and goes on to today. It’s not the greatest writing, it’s not groundbreaking, but it is mine. And my hope after I’m gone is that the site gets hosted long enough for the people who knew me and cared about me get a chance to explore it. To see what I thought, what I did, what I made, the images I created, the weird music and videos I shared with the world. This web site is, for lack of a better term, “The Book of Pete”.

I don’t want this to be dark, because I want to keep living for a few more decades, but I also want to encourage others to view blogging as a legacy they can leave behind. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll get things wrong, but if you use those failings as opportunities to learn and grow, then I think that’s pretty cool.

There are people having the conversation about what happens to your digital footprint once you are gone, and how it can/should be maintained or preserved or archived, and it’s not something I’ve dug into yet, but in the grand scheme everything is ephemeral. We as people, our work, our digital output… it all fades away in time.

And I guess I’m looking for a way to make it last a little bit longer.

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The Code Struggle

I struggled with some code this week. I knew what I needed to code to do, based on the behavior of the device I was building, but getting to the point where the code did exactly what I wanted took some time. I made mistakes, I had to test things repeatedly, I had to add code to show me exactly what was happening… and in the end, it worked.

I’d say that 95% of the code I write nowadays is pretty simple (for me) and I get it right on the first try. The other 5% is maybe a bit of a challenge and some is just challenging to me.

But… I like the challenge.

I would rather struggle with the code and find a solution, and celebrate the outcome than just have some fucking AI robot write the code for me.

I know, some people would rather just get the answer, have it handed to them, skip the work, and move on. Life should be easy, not a struggle!

But it’s through the struggle that we become who we are, how we learn about ourselves, and others, and the world around us.

What great achievement has been taken place without some form or struggle? Without working towards something better?

The Billionaire Ruling Class know nothing of struggle, because everything has been handed to them. Perhaps that’s why they try to shove AI down our throats. They assume everyone wants the easy answers.

I’m thinking of lyrics from two different hardcore bands right now that are a perfect fit for this post… and maybe that’s part of why I am the way I am, because some guys in a punk band 30 years ago recognized the same thing and wrote words and music and piled in a van and drove around playing to small crowds and screaming and connecting with people who felt the same.

Life should be about always seeking answers, always gathering knowledge, it’s an exploration, it’s a journey, and there is no shortcut or magic answer key that will solve the mysteries of life for you.

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Be Kind, Rewind

VHS Tapes

Hey remember video tapes? You’d rent them at a store, take them home, watch them, and then return them… but did you rewind it to the beginning so it was ready for the next person?

I remember that my dad got a tape rewinder because there was this fear of overuse and burning out of the motor in your VCR (Video Cassette Recorder). Unlike cassette audio tapes VHS tapes were not double-sided so rewinding was sort of important.

And yes, there is a movie called Be Kind Rewind and Beastie Boys do say “Be kind rewind” in the song OK. Anyway, it’s a fun phrase that can be used in many ways.

But… at some point “Be Kind, Please Rewind” became “Rewind or Be Fined” and man, that’s just cruel.

We went from “Hey, be cool and help out the next person.” to “Fuck you. Do what I say or I’ll take your money!”

That seems the way of the world for so many. Cruelty seems to be something that many people enjoy… but why? Dissatisfaction with their own lives? Unfounded hatred or fear? Hell if I know, and I wish it would stop… So remember the phrase “Be Kind, Rewind” and try to live by those words… or at least the first two words. Be Kind.

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Authority & People

I was recently thinking about laws and specifically obeying laws. I’ve never considered myself a person who just blindly follows the rules or bows to power. I’ve always tried to question authority, especially when authority seems to make no sense.

But a lot of my actions would appear to follow the laws we have, but it’s typically due to two reasons…

First, breaking laws can result in monetary fines or incarceration, and since I am not part of the ruling class fines are not just the “cost of doing business” and I don’t like being incarcerated.

Second, I tend to follow laws that fall in line with respect for other people. I don’t drive like an asshole violating traffic laws because I don’t want to cause harm to others… and I hope that others feel the same way and that their actions reflect that.

We should question authority, not just blindly follow rules that make no sense… but we should also do our best to be respectful and kind to one another. It’s the only way we’re gonna make it through this world.

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Sam McPheeters, Author

I just finished reading Mutations: The Many Strange Faces of Hardcore Punk, by author Sam McPheeters. It’s a great book, and I recommend it. And I don’t recommend a lot of books! (Because I don’t read a lot of books…)

Besides being a great storyteller, I share this odd kinship with Sam, though it may be one-sided. I’ve always admired his work, and we’ve crossed paths a few times. Now, in the book he mentions interactions with people and failures (perceived or real) throughout his life. I thought I would share a few times I encountered Sam.

Disclaimer: It’s been over 25 years, and I may not get everything right, but I’m going to do my best to be accurate, If I’m wrong about something, let me know.

I first met Sam when Born Against played a show in Waukesha, Wisconsin. The local Waukesha punks booked them to play a bowling alley. Somehow I rented the PA for the show or something. (I would have got it from Lincoln Music on the South Side.) I remember meeting Sam when setting up the mics and I said “Hey, you’re not gonna stick this mic in your mouth are you? I rented these…” and he looked at me and said “No, I’m not gonna stick it in my mouth.” and that was good enough for me. But… there was this hint of mischief when he said it, as if he was saying “I’ll tell you I won’t do it, but yeah, I’m totally gonna do it.”

Now, why the hell I would I ask him such a question? I’m pretty sure I had seen a photo from a zine (maybe MRR?) where he had a mic shoved in his mouth. I remember it being a great photo, but I was also concerned I’d return the gear to Bob at Lincoln Music and he’d be like “What the hell happened to this mic!?!”

I am reasonably sure he did not shove the mic into his mouth. It’s been a long time, and since I don’t remember, I’ll take that to mean it did not happen, because it seems like something I would remember. I’d probably have said “What the hell, man!?! You said you wouldn’t shove the mic in your mouth!” and Sam would probably have shrugged or something.

The next interaction was in Madison, and I don’t know if this was the same Born Against tour or another one. Maybe it was a year later? (Hell, I don’t even know what year some of these things happened.) Anyway, I think we were near State Street somewhere and Sam saw me and (maybe) Milt, and said something like “Hey, do you guys have Z-Rock in this town?” and I told him we did not, but maybe WORT would work. He then asked where a laundromat was and we may have been able to point him in the right direction. Yeah, this is weird, but Sam is weird, and I am weird, so whatever. I’ve also been know to just randomly ask people if they have Z-Rock in whatever town I’m in. (I never bothered to look up Z-Rock until right now. Huh.)

And then on the Buried tour in 1993 we played in Washington D.C. at Club Heaven with Born Against, and it seemed like somehow there was a small crowd, or like no crowd or I just can’t remember but I do remember watching Born Against play and Sam was Sam and at some point he wandered off during a song and went into the women’s restroom and I think he came back at some point but it’s all a little hazy.

There’s one more interaction I had with Sam but it wasn’t in-person, it was across a computer network where he was asking me questions about something and I remember I felt honored that he was asking me. I’m not even sure I had any great answers for him, but now that I think about it maybe I’ve never had any great answers.

I did a search for Sam with a mic in his mouth and found this photo from ABC No Rio Fondly Recalls the Saturdays of Its Gritty Youth though I’m not even sure that’s the photo I remember seeing.

Sam also makes (or made) art, some of which I find interesting or amusing, and some that makes me worry about his sanity. See the art of Sam McPheeters, Artist. (Try this link or this link instead!)